Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
