google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
