Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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