TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
