Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
