But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
