My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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