Umm I'm too high to move.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
