There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
