There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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