PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
