somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
