my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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