My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
