Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
