I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
