My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize