from now on my penis is your penis
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
