Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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