I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
