Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.

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(818): Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls. http://tfl.nu/r53n

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(702): View more from Nevada

Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.

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(702): Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks. http://tfl.nu/8gmt

Replies (40) Good night (771) Bad night (3392) Order T-Shirt
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(503): View more from Oregon

when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?

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(503): when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship? http://tfl.nu/e3yh

Replies (15) Good night (2165) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement

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(717): John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement http://tfl.nu/es6t

Replies (53) Good night (684) Bad night (4652) Order T-Shirt
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(718): View more from New York

One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"

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(718): One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk" http://tfl.nu/wyyx

Replies (27) Good night (1833) Bad night (3946) Order T-Shirt
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(812): View more from Indiana

We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.

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(812): We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed. http://tfl.nu/r8jj

Replies (18) Good night (7540) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
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(503): View more from Oregon

you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you

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(503): you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you http://tfl.nu/l62c

Replies (4) Good night (2072) Bad night (1019) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.

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(703): I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU. http://tfl.nu/rhle

Replies (16) Good night (5197) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.

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(313): Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck. http://tfl.nu/ib4p

Replies (4) Good night (1992) Bad night (1342)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.

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(715): Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day. http://tfl.nu/c6jk

Replies (11) Good night (1896) Bad night (471)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.

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(724): I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed. http://tfl.nu/6i3f

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

We need more drag queens in our life I've decided

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(781): We need more drag queens in our life I've decided http://tfl.nu/77cl

Replies (3) Good night (976) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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(716): View more from New York

Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!

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(716): Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it! http://tfl.nu/wiz3

Replies (4) Good night (1004) Bad night (402) Order T-Shirt
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.

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(843): Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now. http://tfl.nu/4hes

Replies (3) Good night (262) Bad night (669)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS

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(570): OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS http://tfl.nu/smac

Replies (4) Good night (184) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt

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