I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
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she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
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I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.