Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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