I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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