4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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