Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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