I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
