He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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