I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
