had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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