When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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