Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize