I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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