Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's blow job season.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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