Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
