i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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