Kiss
Puke
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
