you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.