i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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