You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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