I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
