I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize