He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
