drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The ass gains better be worth it
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