First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
