I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
