it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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