Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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