You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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