The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
