My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Porn is love you can see.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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