i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
