they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
