I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
