We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
a search helicopter?!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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