i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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