This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He literally asked permission to hit on me
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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