HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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