drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
