Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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