We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
