You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
