What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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