I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just found puke in my bra..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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