suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
