would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize